


RUBINE LASER EYE

by Baron_von_Bullsheisse



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, Disgaea (Games), Super Dangan Ronpa 2
Genre: Crossover, Other, Polyamory, late for valentine's day
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-16
Updated: 2018-02-16
Packaged: 2019-03-19 07:45:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,324
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13700022
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Baron_von_Bullsheisse/pseuds/Baron_von_Bullsheisse
Summary: When Gundam creates a demonic portal, obviously the first thing Kazuichi and Sonia do is jump into it.In retrospect, that wasn't their brightest idea.





	RUBINE LASER EYE

**Author's Note:**

  * For [DaifukuBun](https://archiveofourown.org/users/DaifukuBun/gifts).



> aka "watch an asexual person struggle to write about teenage love"

For the twelfth time in five minutes, Kazuichi pinched himself. His right arm was starting to hurt a little, but he just had to be sure that the swirling hole of light and stars in front of him was real.

It hadn't even been an hour ago when Gundam had planted himself on top of the mechsuit that he and Miu were working on (where did he come from?!?) and, with a pompous laugh, declared something like, “Mechanised Fiend of Realm Five! Come with me, if you want to see tomorrow's sunrise!” and leaped out the window. Miu cackled when the Ultimate Breeder botched his landing on the wet grass. “What's Cuntam think he's gonna get like that, huh?”

“I...dunno. He's just like that.” Kazuichi scratched under his beanie, totally not thinking about how cool his classmate had looked a few moments before, suspended in the air, scarf trailing behind like a pair of wings...

As if being in love with Miss Sonia wasn't enough. She'd asked, in her politest voice, to please, try and get along with her boyfriend? And if she wanted it, then shit, he had to give it a go. So alright then, he tried helping out Gundam, building weird things like hamster car seats and an exercise machine for a komodo dragon. And also devices for...harvesting mana from the air? Apparently Gundam liked what he and Miu came up with, so whatever. Then Kazuichi found that he actually really thought the dumb chuuni was cool and stylish and handsome. And cute when he was snuggled up against a tiger's belly. Also, both of his crushes were dating each other. Oops.

Anyway, what Gundam wanted to show him and Sonia was in the so-called “magic users” research lab. Yumeno and Hagakure had set up the room, having coated the walls with talismans and putting iridescent rocks at certain points on the floor.

“So, you arrived at the chosen time...” He had his back to them. A breeze from nowhere tossed the ends of Gundam's scarf, revealing a chubby hamster on his shoulder. “The new moon will draw itself in the sky tonight, and the Turquoise Cockatrice will crow for the 1000th time in that moment. The atmospheric mana is the thickest it will be this century.”

“Turquoise...what? Oh, you mean the school's bell tower?” It did have some kind of greenish bird on the front.

“Now!” Gundam whipped around, his scarf billowing dramatically around him with the motion. Yeah, he'd practised that. The breeder pointed to Sonia and beckoned her. “Sonia, the Princess of Miniature Worlds. You too, Mechanised Fiend. Soon, the portal to my homeworld shall reveal itself, and only you are worthy to enter.”

And sure enough, a portal really had appeared, growing and spreading like a stain on the carpet.

It was a bit of a relief when Sonia turned to the mechanic, trembling, but with a smile. “Isn't this thrilling? I always wondered where Gundam came from, but you know, he's...him.” She shook her head. “He jumped in way before us. Let's not keep him waiting. That would be 'most uncool'.”

 

 

What they saw was a castle.

It was suspended over a sea of lava.

The sky had three moons.

“Dude, what the fuck?!”

“I must agree with Kazuichi-kun. 'What the fuck' is how I feel right now,” Sonia murmured. She was already red in the face from the heat. Kazuichi wasn't much better himself, with his jumpsuit, and he really didn't know why he'd worn it to the magic users' room anyway. Had he been too lazy to swap into a shirt, seriously?

(He kinda wanted to say that Miss Sonia was perfect even when sweaty and gross, but he'd been learning about _personal boundaries_ from Hajime, and that fell neatly into the list of “dumb crap that makes you look creepy and fucked up”. And really, who wanted to hear that when they were in some kind of hell dimension.)

“It's natural that you humans would be overwhelmed by the splendour of my castle, the Dark Deva Palace. It was under control of my Four Dark Devas of Destruction until I tamed them. Since then, I have been the reigning Overlord of this netherworld. Its citizens cower and grovel at my feet, in awe of my mastery over the demons!” Gundam threw back his head and laughed heartily, and the sound echoed down the lava chasm. It was kinda hot. Both the animal breeder's confidence and the molten rock. Right.

Kazuichi couldn't help but gape at the whole scene. The palace, the wasteland, the moons, it was all real.

“Everything you said...was true?” Even Miss Sonia, who happily went along with whatever the chuunibyou ranted about, was startled. As much as she loved the occult, she couldn't have predicted that her relationship would lead to...whatever you'd call this situation.

The Overlord (???) blinked and stopped laughing, thrown off of his groove. San-D squeaked sadly. “You never really believed it then...” He closed his eyes with a disappointed sigh. “I am shaken by this, but... Fine! A grand tour of the Dark Deva Palace will clear your doubts. Come!” He started toward the obsidian bridge over the lava, raising a hand to signal the gate guards.

Kazuichi and Sonia looked at each other. “Uh, well. After you?”

“Y-yes, though if you don't mind, I would be happier if we walked side by side...”

They crossed the bridge together and let themselves be swallowed by the darkness within the towering stone doors.

 

 

If you asked Kazuichi or Sonia what they thought would be in a demon lord's castle, their answers would have been similar, something like “decorative lava, really long staircases, tapestries, and of course, tons of demon servants”.

And...yep, there was a whole lot of lava everywhere. Stairs made of stone towered above them and went far below them. Lots of tapestries and paintings with cute animals on them. And demons! There were a whole lot of those in here! Mostly little flying imps and ghosts, but also vampires and succubi and even a statue that apologised to them when it suddenly moved and sent Kazuichi into a screaming fit. Not one of his proudest moments. Miss Sonia thought it was funny, though.

Gundam led eventually led his guests through wide gem-encrusted doors and into what must've been his throne room. It was pretty dark in there, but a gigantic purple crystal in the centre glowed and gave enough light to see. They walked around it and up another flight of stairs to where the throne was located, where Gundam could sit and feel superior to whoever was foolish enough to beg for his mercy (or so he said).

“Now then! I believe that is enough for you two to believe me. Is my home not _magnificent?_ Am I not a mighty and feared warlock, who oppresses this world with dark magic beyond comprehension?!” Another guffaw erupted from the Overlord, but he choked on his own spit after a couple of seconds. Sonia thumped his back.

Kazuichi tried fanning himself with his beanie. “Um, colour me impressed, man. It's really...demonic.” Shit, he had no idea what to say! So he blurted out, “You got anything to eat here? That won't kill us?” Wow, smooth one. That was gonna charm the guy's pants right off.

But Miss Sonia, as always, could salvage it. “Your palace is spectacular, my lord.” Gundam flushed _very_ red at the title. “However, I am feeling a bit peckish.”

A solemn nod. “Of course... How could I forget? A human is easily fatigued by crossing dimensions. Most demons too, in fact. Very well.” They followed him out of the throne room, to the right, into a small dining hall. “Normally, only the Dark Devas and I may eat here. As my guests, I extend this privilege to you.”

With that, Gundam put his hand on an altar near the table. “Lethrus! I require an Eryngi platter with Hellspine Sauce, seven Black Puddings, a Level 9999 Scarecrow's head, and...” He peeked inside his scarf. A look of concern clouded his face, and he whispered, “Go easy on the gravy for Jun-P.”

 

 

It might have been the best dinner Kazuichi ever had. Not that Teruteru didn't deserve his title of Ultimate Cook (sorry, chef) or anything, but he usually only cooked for his classmates when he was hitting on them, so nobody really wanted to eat his food except Akane. Nine times out of ten, it ended with her literally kicking the idiot's ass. The mechanic even had to build an extractor device after the chef got punted into a wall for the eleventh time.

Anyway, the stuff in front of him right now looked disgusting – some kinda pile of mushrooms with faces, all cut up and coated with bubbling radiation-green slime? No thanks – but holy shit, it was savoury and sweet with a little spice. He was drooling while eating it and couldn't help but think that maybe, he could have more without throwing up. Even though he had four servings already.

Instead of the mushrooms, Sonia chose to take a bowl of thick soup that had...bones floating in it? It was nearly pitch black and was ridiculously goopy. Even in Hell, she ate delicately, taking small spoonfuls and keeping her elbows off the table. _Don't stare,_ Kazuichi could almost hear Hajime telling him, because that guy couldn't help being a parent to everyone.

Across the table was Gundam, who hadn't eaten much and just sat there with his arms crossed. His hamsters each had their own tiny chair and table, of course they did.

The breeder looked up and met his friend's eyes. It was so obvious that he wanted to say something, but now that Kazuichi was thinking of his best friend, maybe he should ask about it in a tactful way? Except he couldn't think of how, so instead, they stared awkwardly at each other for a while before Sonia broke the silence.

“Is something the matter, Gundam?”

He shot up, knocking his chair backwards. “Yes! Yes, the reason I brought you here today, to see the Dark Deva Palace and make known the full extent of my influence and might. For you, Princess of Miniature Worlds, and you, Mechanised Fiend of Realm Five... I have a proposition for you both.”

“Um, what kind of thing are we talkin' about?”

“To make a pact with I, the great and supreme Overlord of Ice. It is no ordinary pact, of course, as this is far greater than enlisting the help of a Duke of Hell for petty reasons. No, this would be more permanent, and grant you the power to return here anytime, and control over my vassals.” He paced around the table, not bother to pick his chair up. “This contract would not go into effect until after we graduate. It'll take a great deal of preparation, and I refuse to employ Prinnies, they're too cu- I mean, unreliable. And once I...”

It just clicked, somehow. It was ridiculous and probably wrong and he was going to look like a total dumbass (what else was new??), but Kazuichi had no filter, so, “Dude, are you-”

“-asking for our hands in marriage?” Miss Sonia had a hand over mouth, expression between surprise and embarrassment.

“I-it is a pact, I said!” Gundam shouted, making the Dark Devas jump in fright. Quickly, he yanked his scarf over his face. _That was cute! Why does he have to be cute?!_ “An Overlord desires...only s-solitude...but,” he lowered the scarf just enough to look as his guests, “spending that solitude with others is a f-fine thing for an Overlord to do.”

The mechanic's jaw had dropped, completely unable to process any of this. Which could be excused, right? The day started off doing whatever, building robots and losing count of how many times Miu could call him a virgin in one hour, and then he was in another world, found out that the chuuni a magical demon tamer, and asked to marry both of the people he liked? Holy fuck what was today.

“Why me.”

“I can answer that,” Sonia said. “Gundam liked you even before we started dating! He thinks you're 'hot stuff', if I may say so.” She stood up and walked to Gundam, straightening out her dress. “I'm not sure if my family will approve, but...I accept this pact. I look forward to a life together with you.” Gah, that radiant smile, one that only the Ultimate Princess could give, made Kazuichi's heart flutter uncontrollably.

He fidgeted, twirling his hair as he tried to mull over this situation. “And you're...okay with this, Miss Sonia? I mean, okay with me too? I thought...well...”

“Haven't you been trying to improve yourself? I noticed that you've been kinder recently, not only to me but to everyone. If this were the same _you_ I met when we first came to Hope's Peak, I would hesitate.” She went to Kazuichi's seat and took his hand, coaxing him up. “But the _you_ now is different. You can be very charming when you worry less about your image, or impressing others.”

The three were standing together now, and a comfortable quiet took hold for a few moments before Gundam worked up the nerve to speak again. “This...really isn't a marriage,” he mumbled, “b-but I do want to try a less lonesome life. With people I can trust. So, Mechan- no, Kazuichi...do you...?”

“Trying stuff out, huh...” His face was hot and he was pretty sure his friends would sigh in disappointment over yet another rash decision. But still. “I can't think of anyone else I'd wanna do something like this with. If you'll have me, then you can take me!”

Gundam sputtered and couldn't look anyone in the eye for a while after that.

 


End file.
